Soft burn

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

"Eyes closed, I gave myself to the sun...
I brushed from the sky the azure that is darkness, and I lived-
gold spark of pure light" 

Rimbaud, A Season in Hell

Isaiah and Slim, Brooklyn
clothes by Nika Tang

fragments ii.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

i. "psychoanalysts say that shame ruins your capacity for reverie by making cracks in the mind where it is dangerous for thoughts to wander."
-anne carson, shame stack

ii. ask the moon 
where we went last night

what would she tell you? 

f: friction, fantasy, fortress, filament, free-fall, free me, find me, finish me, forget-me-not

iv. recently:

red tulips to wake up to, 

last light at the headlands, 

magical image by Raffaele Cariou, 

"lullaby music for psychotics" or Blood by This Mortal Coil, 

revisiting always favorite "Brooklyn Gang" by Bruce Davidson, 

"the city of absurdity" & other paintings by david lynch, 

"Angel's egg" the visuals, the OST (!!)  

journal entry a few week ago: 

"so it seems we've finally
learned, how to outsmart the 
beauty of dawn"

this week:
we wrote a song for eos

one kind of perfect blue, where storm meets sea

how to measure 

the velocity 



fragments i.

Friday, May 12, 2017

that the sky never ages 
and we do
reminds us of our place in the universe

"pharmakon means drug, but as Jacques Derrida and others have pointed out, the word in Greek famously
refuses to designate whether poison or cure"

"alright then, let me try to rephrase. 
When I was alive, I aimed to be a student not of longing but of light."

 An old polaroid for mono-ha, a night in the cemetery- drawn to this angel.
Revisiting bluets, and learning about Copernicus. 

Latifah for Micaela Greg s/s17, 
a few favorite moments

April's table of contents:

Friday, April 14, 2017

Pt 1:

i. a cruel gentle trajectory 
ii. all the ions (inside my body) starting arguments they cannot win
iii. the minor key
iv. after 4 b4 rain
v. "as if color could be further revealed by slitting" 
vi. choose which mirror you look into
vii. anatomy: fingers tracing lower spine tingling
viii. in your flickering eyes a prism 
ix. do we grow younger & younger every year?
x. below my feet a thousand lights
xi. rust
xii. chase the sun until it falls off the bench 
xiii. waltz in the 4th dimension
xiv. us, alive

Horreur Sympathique ii.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

i. in the blink of an eye
ii. the careful thoughts you disguise
iii. versailles 

iv. crimson string 

do you promise a 

v.  finding decadent 

i vanished 

vii. into
the beating of arteries
and tonight's

folie à deux

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Nathan and Juke wear Jacquemus, Adidas x Raf Simons, 
hififnk, Oak+ Fort, Uniqlo x Lemaire 

8:20 am
trying to love you more, you taught me to kiss the crook of my thumb and index because in it, I found a soul in the shape of a broken 
habit, one that learns and unlearns habituating, learning itself. 

Look at you, a little poem, 
wondering why the 
blue was so wide,
and your flesh even wider. 


Nathan gave me this poem- part of a larger poem he wrote, near the end of our photoshoot, just several days after Ren Hang passed. Looking through these photos, he was unquestionably on our minds that day, lingering on the edges of all we went after. 

a flower called desire

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

"Protea is both the botanical name and the English common name of a genus of South African flowering plants, sometimes also 
called sugar bushes. In local tradition, the Protea flower represents change and hope. These unique flowers have existed since 
prehistoric times with some estimates dating them to 300 million years ago. " 

Horreur sympathique

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Reading Last Poems, Baudelaire:
1. Horreur Sympathique
2. The Alchemy of Pain 

Remembering Ren Hang

Monday, February 27, 2017

all photos from

The visionary Chinese photographer Ren Hang passed earlier this week at just 29 years old, suddenly and heartbreakingly leaving the world with one less truly singular talent. As friends shared posts and articles, I realized how his work has touched each one of us in unique and personal ways. I asked several friends- themselves photographers, artists, writers, LGBTQ advocates, to reflect upon the influence and inspiration Ren Hang provided, and these are the thoughts they shared with me. 

Given a time when open sexuality is taboo in present-day China, Ren Hang's photographs were subversive portrayals of queerness. I'm very moved and saddened by his death. He had a very unique and sometimes comical vision, his art was very touching and personal. 

Ian @youngtilapia
I was flipping through his book at Skylight yesterday. Quickly turning the pages because I found them more shocking than Terry Richardson's work. Shocking because one spread would be a beautiful image of a person, and the next spread is that same person in an sexually aggressive situation. It's very inspiring to me because he works with simple elements, i.e the nude with a single prop, like an octopus or cherries and lets his creativity run wild. His work is instantly recognizable, which is the mark of a great artist. 

Rachel @niwa_davis:
I remember seeing Ren Hang's work and immediately having this strong magnetism to it. Hang's poetic compositions and languid forms brought recollections of deep longing and a lasting reservoir of despair. As a mixed Asian American woman these photos created a weight of understanding within my own depression. Where one feeling isn't purely linked to one thing, just as each of his pictures play off one another, to create an expansive, ghostly exploration into the vessels which are the bodies we occupy. 

Derek @derekmacario:
I think I first came across Ren Hang's work from Zioxla's Strange Plants II book. Hang unapologetically showed Chinese bodies how he saw them. Bare, nude, in nature/ plants, with fashion, and with animals, his subjects were personal to him. He was able to be intimate and honest with his images, presenting viewers surreal scenes, notably in his way of incorporating optical illusions. I love the series of indoor images he made titled, "My mum" and how he turned the spotlight on the figure who presumably raised him. 

Miles @milesfortune : 
Ren Hang, besides the visceral unhinged content of his photographs, was so impossibly human, a unique point in time. It's such a shock to now know he had such pain because he expressed such joy in what anyone else, especially in art would (and likely does) find, an unbearable weight of possibility of human ability. Emotions are our ultimate reality, our corporeal being comes second, but it's what we have to work with and I think the late Ren Hang truly loved that. 

Hernan Bas

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Stuffed, Hernan Bas

"For these Dark Romantics, the natural world is full of shadows, decay, mystery, ghosts and death... landscapes full of the fantastical somehow borne of the banal. Darkness and light, the known and unknown, are all forces that coexist in Bas's works, creating otherworldly, rich images, regions defined by the outer reaches of imagination, and a nature rendered both familiar and strange."  -Victoria Miro gallery 

His paintings feel like the fragrance of a sin, a quiet vermillion nocturne luring you deep into a jungle, lush and exploding with darker passions and unknown maladies, asking your senses to tingle and vibrate with life's vividness.  In this world, hedonism is a free soaring bird. 

If colors could describe the complexity of emotions, his pallet is a paradise of passion, angst, power, and vulnerability, a kind of trapped and brooding energy with tinges of youthful frivolity and wit.  The nuances of youth- its fleeting experiences, the entrapment, the desire, the hunger of curiosity that we suffer through but maybe hope we never lose, and the literature, history, poetry that help guide us towards our future- for me, his canvas shows all this & more. 

There's a severe lack of beauty in the world right now, and cynicism isn't the cure. Escaping into fantasy and imagination isn't the easy way out if it reflects truths of reality is it? Art that understands the insides you can't articulated, some tumultuous flux of emotion and brings it to life. 

A couple outtakes from my recent shoot based on the paintings of Hernan Bas: 


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